Old Hollywood Facts

FACT: Michael Jackson taught Elizabeth Taylor how to moon walk & in return she gave him a diamond studded glove with genuine diamonds. It’s said when Marlon Brando found out he was furious & in his rage proceeded to consume fried chicken at a dangerous pace unaware that the chicken came in a bucket. When asked by his assistant what happened to the bucket he replied that he thought it was edible. Upon discovering that Marlon was hurt Michael offered to teach him the dance.

After numerous attempts to teach Brando to moon walk it was ordered by the U.N. that he cease & desist with his attempts to learn the dance. The effect of Brando’s expert rotation caused a change in the earth’s gravitational pull and natural disasters started to occur more frequently. The moon was now closer than it had ever been before and because of this Michael felt responsible and proceeded to dedicate the remainder of his life to taking care of the planet. — Elizabeth Taylor, “My Love Affair With Jewelry.”

FACT: During “The V.I.P.s” Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton befriended Maggie Smith. Friends of Maggie claim that she was charmed by the love Richard had for Elizabeth & spent a great deal of time getting to know them very well but the friendship became awkward for her. Richard tried to seduce Maggie in his hotel suite during a get together but she took ill & fainted. She woke to find Elizabeth sitting on her chest pinning her down while Richard stood over her rubbing diamonds on her cheeks trying to get the perfect cut for Elizabeth’s newest ring.

She screamed her eardrum shattering bird call causing Richard & Elizabeth to double over in pain and was able to flee the room before they could catch her again. Needless to say the next day on set was very awkward and neither of them acknowledged one another. However Elizabeth’s new ring was flawlessly cut and dazzling thanks to Maggie’s perfect cheekbones.

FACT: Lindsay Lohan is the late love child of Elizabeth Taylor and Eddie Fisher. Before Elizabeth had her hysterectomy Eddie talked her into saving her eggs and freezing them for a surrogate mother to bear their child but because they divorced the child was never created. Eddie won the eggs in the divorce settlement and finally decided in the late 80’s to create the child using a surrogate. He felt Elizabeth owed him a child. After a short search fame hungry Dina Lohan volunteered and Lindsay was born.

Several years ago Carrie Fisher spotted Lindsay passed out in a bar and informed her that she was her half sister and welcomed her to the family with a bump of cocaine. It was the only time they bonded because Lindsay was too erratic even for Carrie. Lindsay has finally accepted the identity of her true parents and has campaigned for the role of Elizabeth in the new lifetime movie, “Liz & Dick”. She feels that this will help her learn more and make her feel closer to her real mother and idol Elizabeth.

— My Life as the unknown daughter of Elizabeth Taylor, by Lindsay Lohan. People Magazine.

FACT: L. B. Mayer kept a copy of the Voodoo footage from the Pirate. Everyday after everyone left the studio he would watch it in his office. When he was fired from MGM he locked the footage in a box and put in his will that the box was to be buried with him so no one else could enjoy the sexyness of Judy and Gene in the Voodoo number.

— “My uncle L.B. Mayer whose memory I honor by wearing a bow tie in every interview I do about him”, the guy you see in everything but can’t remember his name.

FACT: Sinatra & Judy Garland had a long affair over several years starting in the 40’s continuing through the 50’s. It was rumored that Judy used to complain about Frank’s obsession with Over The Rainbow and that she had grown tired of the song. When asked why she said, “whenever I hit a high note he interrupts moaning loudly and I choke! I’d like to get over the rainbow too every now and then!”

— “The private duets of Judy Garland & Frank Sinatra” by Photoplay

FACT: During the filming of The Ten Commandments Yul Brynner was angry that Charlton Heston was in better shape than he, so every evening after filming Yul would provoke the bulls on a near by ranch challenging them to attack. Wrestling them until they tired, and eventually eating them on the spot thinking it would give him better muscle mass.

FACT: Gone With the Wind is notable in that it contains the first mainstream Hollywood lesbian kiss— between Vivien Leigh and Leslie Howard.